Monday, September 29, 2014

10 Safety Suggestions Every Hypnotist Should Use

10 Safety Suggestions Every Hypnotist Should Use

I've been having a lot of discussions recently about Hypnosis safety. There are a bunch of different schools of thought about discussing abreactions (unexpected and/or bad reactions) that may occur, and how to prevent them or prevent them from being a problem if they do occur.

School of thought #1 (which I have seen very often): If you don't talk about stuff going wrong, stuff won't go wrong. Discussing abreactions in front of subjects has actually been proven to increase abreactions.

School of thought #2: While it is true that discussing abreactions with hypnotees may seed ideas that don't really need to be there, abreactions (which aren't necessarily ever bad if the hypnotistsis paying attention, and I will be referring to these as "the Unexpected" henceforth) can happen whether or not the hypnotee knows about them and hears about them a lot, and the only prevention is an active prevention with suggestions and an educated hypnotist.

Having seen The Unexpected happen with brand-spanking-new hypnotees with no discussion of The Unexpected, I have to be in school #2. School of thought #1 seems a lot like rhythm and prayer--it may reduce the risk, but it doesn't prevent The Unexpected from happening. The best method for keeping hypnotees and hypnotists safe and happy is for hypnotists to educate themselves on responding to The Unexpected (which is mostly about paying attention, empathy, and improvisation), and putting in suggestions to prevent The Unexpected.

So, while I do avoid mentioning abreactions to hypnotees, and I certainly don't tell them the stories that have led to each and every one of these suggestions being created and put on my "always use these" list, there's still a list. Here are the suggestions that I always use, and I would suggest that you use them, too. Please feel free to use them, contextualize them, and adapt them to your play.

These do not take place of a hypnosis-specific negotiation! Do your negotiation before putting someone into trance at all!

1.) Safeword Suggestions

These suggestions give the hypnotee a trigger that not only allows but compels them to safeword if they need to. It is imperative that this is not just an allowance, but a compulsion. Word this in a way that does not create a stigma for safewording! Use "if something could be better," not "if something is wrong."

Yellow:
This can be modified slightly depending on how the hypnotee defines their "yellow."
"Whenever you are in this trance, if at any point in time you would like to check in, alert me that I could do something to make you happier and safer, change a suggestion that I've given you, or make the scene better, it will seem perfectly automatic to say the word 'yellow.' Saying the word 'yellow' is an automatic process that your conscious mind doesn't even need to think about, because your subconscious will be compelled to say it aloud. In fact, you may find that if you hear yourself say 'yellow,' whatever suggestion needed to be removed will just fall away, and you'll find yourself ready to check in. This will be true whenever you are in trance, and, in fact, it seems so natural that it may seem like this has always been the case."

Red:
"If at any point in time it might be better for you to be out of trance or for the scene to end, it may seem perfectly automatic to say the word 'red.' Saying the word 'red' is an automatic process that your conscious mind doesn't even need to think about, because your subconscious will be compelled to say it aloud. In fact, you may find that if you hear yourself say 'red,' you will find yourself coming out of trance on your own. This will be true whenever you are in trance, and, in fact, it seems so natural that it may seem like this has always been the case."

2.) Only my voice

This is a suggestion to make sure that the hypnotee is only listening to the desired hypnotist's suggestions. This can be reworded slightly depending on whether the hypnotee has only one play partner or multiple. The point here is to protect the hypnotee from random "splash" from other things being said in the room.

"It will be easy and automatic to accept fun and appropriate suggestions from hypnotists of your choosing. When playing, you will find that the voice of the hypnotist you negotiated with is the only important and influential voice in the room.  This will be true whenever you are in trance, and, in fact, it seems so natural that it may seem like this has always been the case."

3.) Articulate Check-In

This suggestion ensures that the hypnotee can and will check in if the hypnotist needs them to. Particularly with subjects who go deeply into hypnosis in a way that makes it difficult for them to speak lucidly, this will help. Some subjects find that a suggestion like this can also help them collect their thoughts.

"Whenever you're in this state and you have something to say to check in, or I ask you to check in by saying 'it's time to check in,' you may find it easy to speak, and easy to articulate what you would like to say. It will seem perfectly automatic and easy to respond to the questions that I ask that you want to answer. This will be true whenever you are in trance, and, in fact, it seems so natural that it may seem like this has always been the case."

4.) Not Mind Control

This helps reinforce the safe word suggestions, but it's good to add this suggestion in outside the context of safewording. This gives the suggestion that they don't even have to safeword to ignore a suggestion that they don't like.

"If at any point in time there is a suggestion that your subconscious mind does not want to follow, the suggestion simply will fade away, ignored, and you will find yourself relaxing back down into this wonderful sleep state [or whatever the hypnotist wants you to do]. This will be true whenever you are in trance, and, in fact, it seems so natural that it may seem like this has always been the case."

5.) Coming Out of Trance

This is good for bathroom breaks and fire drills, among other things. Again, this reinforces the safeword suggestions, but makes it so that they know they don't even have to safeword to get out of trance if they need something quickly.

"If, at any point in time, you find yourself preferring or needing to be out of trance for any reason, you may find yourself quickly coming out of trance awake, and alert, and feeling good and ready to do whatever you need to do. This is a perfectly automatic process for you to come out of trance if you need to come out of trance. This will be true whenever you are in trance, and, in fact, it seems so natural that it may seem like this has always been the case."

6.) Bodily and Space Awareness

This is super important, and gets overlooked a lot. While I'm refraining from story-telling on a lot of these points due to School of Thought #1, this one has a really good (and harmless) story to tell-- One reason for this suggestion is that I once hypnotized a pretty pretty girl in a short short skirt to think she was a cat, and this was not in an erotic context where it was socially acceptable for her bare ass to be presented to the world--but she was a cat, and cats tend to be on all fours and, well, mini-skirts, man.
Even if you are in a context where it is socially acceptable for pretty girls to be flashing the whole room while meowing, this is still super duper important for other reasons, and if you'd like more details on that, PM me. I'd go so far as to say this is one of the most important suggestions on this list.

"Another process that you subconscious does automatically is taking care of your body. You may find that your body will keep itself safe, always aware of the limitations of your space, your clothing, and your physical ability. It will also make sure to take into account the well-being of the other people and items in your space. This is an automatic process that your body will take care of without you thinking about it at all. This will be true whenever you are in trance, and, in fact, it seems so natural that it may seem like this has always been the case."

Also, (thank you for reminding me, StoryEyes) it's good to be clear where you would like the hypnotee to remain in the space while hypnotized. I suggest giving them a suggestion to stay at least in the room.

"You feel safe, warm, and comfortable in this [room, space, chair, etc.], and you may find that there is no need to be anywhere but this [room, space, chair, etc.]. It is a wonderful [room, space, chair, etc.], and you may find yourself compelled to stay in it. If at any point in time you need to be in a different place, you may find yourself compelled to check in with me about it."

7.) Sleep Trigger

Whenever doing hypnosis play, you should have a sleep or freeze trigger that returns the hypnotee to a calm, relaxed, passive, quiet headspace where they can be especially receptive to the hypnotist's suggestions immediately, and un-affected by outside stimulus. I use "sleep" with a finger snap, and it returns the hypnotee to a "sleep" state in a relaxed position. Another part of this suggestion is that going into "sleep" state removes whatever active suggestions were happening. Usually this is implied, so I do it in a more subtle way like suggesting that my hypnotees are "blank" and "relaxed."

"You may find that whenever we are playing and I snap my fingers and say 'sleep,' you will find yourself sinking down slowly and safely into a comfortable, pleasant sleep trance state. Going into a relaxed sleep state is a totally natural response to me snapping my fingers and saying sleep. In this wonderful, relaxed sleep state, you may find yourself more and more receptive to my suggestions every time, finding that my voice is the only important sound in the room. Every time you go into this wonderful, deep, sleep state you may find that you go deeper each time. In this state, you may find your thoughts fade into the background until they aren't there at all as you relax in this warm, comfortable state. This will be true whenever you are in trance, and, in fact, it seems so natural that it may seem like this has always been the case."

I have occasionally needed to use this in contexts where the hypnotee was standing up and moving around, and I've occasionally needed to do it fast--it's good to give hypnotees suggestions about "sinking slowly and safely into a sleep-state position."

8.) Remember What You Want/Need to Remember

Memory play is super neat. I'm a fan. Making someone forget their trigger words or not remember that you fiddling with your pen is making them have an orgasm is a lot of fun. It's also fun to take away someone's memories of a whole session temporarily, so that each time can be like the first time. This can also work for abduction play or consensual non consent (if you do it carefully and thoughtfully!). Whatever your thing is--super cool.
Bringing back memories is a little more complicated. One time, I hypnotized a friend of mine to be a character in a play that we'd been in 8 months earlier, I pulled out the script and read her cue lines, and she remembered every single one of her lines to the letter. So. It works sometimes, but sometimes the mind manufactures random memories. Trying to get people to remember lost memories from a long time ago doesn't necessarily work super well.

Similarly, sometimes thoughts or experiences occur in trance that don't really need to be remembered or aren't intended to be remembered. Whenever doing memory play, I tell my subjects to "remember what they want to remember" when I'm giving them memories back, or to "remember all of the pleasant memories from this experience."

This suggestion is in the context of waking someone up and giving them their memories back.
"In a moment, not now, but in a moment, I'm going to wake you up on the count of ten, and you will be awake, alert, and feeling fantastic. When you awake, you may find that you will remember whatever you want to remember from this amazing experience. The wonderful memories from this experience will be yours to keep. Looking back on this experience will be wonderful."

Or, alternatively:
"In a moment, not now, but in a moment, I'm going to wake you up on the count of ten, and you'll be awake, alert, and feeling fantastic. When you awake, you may find it unimportant to remember the details of your trance--it may all seem like a pleasurable blur. Anything that you absolutely need to know will be accessible to you or may become accessible to you, but everything else about this experience may slip through your thoughts like water through your fingers, like a dream after you wake up, and when you think about today, it will just seem like a pleasurable blur."

9.) Feel Good

Telling someone that they feel good is a good thing to do! (NO WAY!)

"Relax down deeper, notice how your limbs are feeling relaxed, feeling safe, warm, and comfortable. You may find yourself feeling an amazing floating sensation."

I also do:
"In a moment, not now, but in a moment I'm going to tap you on the forehead. My fingers may feel warm, and I'd like you to imagine a wave of warmth and relaxation spreading from my finger tips on your forehead, all over your body, down your neck, down through your chest, your torso, down to your legs, filling you up with peace and warmth. These wonderful feelings will remain with you whenever you are under hypnosis."

Or, alternatively and additionally:
"You may actually find that this state is just a little bit arousing, being here, all warm and comfortable at my mercy. Most of your body may be so relaxed that some parts may be getting more and more active. You may find yourself becoming more aroused, and the more you notice your arousal, the more noticeable it becomes. Being warm and comfortable and aroused and my mercy may make you feel even more aroused. Whenever you're in this state for me, you may find that just being in trance for me is arousing."

10.) Have a great time!

Duh.
"As you relax down and go deeper and deeper for me, your body and mind may be preparing themselves for the fantastic time you're going to have, and may already be having here today. You may find that this is one of most wonderful sensations you've experienced, and you may be looking forward to having the smoking hot memories from today."

And that's my list of the ten suggestions to give hypnotees under hypnosis!
If you have more that you think should go on this list, please tell me.

Here are a few other safety-oriented tips for hypnotists, as well.

1.) Keep your hypnotee happy with you!
Here are some good ways to do that:


  • Always pay attention to your subjects. Attend them at all times while they are in trance! Most of the time, this means limiting the number of hypnotees that you are hypnotizing at a time to one. Make sure to keep other people from disturbing your hypnotees, as well.
  • Make sure that if your hypnotee is in a standing position when you need to put them in "sleep" state, make sure they either don't fall, or that they sink slowly down, or that you or a piece of comfortable furnature catches them.
  • Stick to suggestions that your hypnotee likes!

2.) Ask people why they want to be hypnotized.
If they say "cause it's really fucking hot" or "I'm curious about what it's like to be hypnotized," that's awesome.
I would suggest that you do not hypnotize people who cite the following reasons for wanting to be hypnotized:


  • "I just need to be out of myself right now."
  • "I can't handle being awake."
  • "I'm afraid I might do something bad right now, and I need someone to control me so that I don't."
  • "If I'm hypnotized, I won't have to think about my problems."
  • Hypnotize people who want to be hypnotized, not people who don't want to be not-hypnotized.


3.) Check in with yourself.
Are you having a good time? Have a good time! If you aren't, stop. Hypnosis is safest if the hypnotist is engaged. Good hypnotists go into trance, too, and that makes us more empathetic and attentive. The best thing you can do for your hypnotee is to have an awesome time and go into trance with them so that you can be as focused as possible. Also, it's more fun that way, and you shouldn't do things that aren't fun. :-P

4.) Do a complete negotiation.
Do it. This will not necessarily make your scene any less spontaneous--in fact, it will keep you from wondering if the stuff you're doing is fun for your hypnotee, and the less you're wondering, the more creative you can be! Any good hypnotist can have an fantastic scene with a negotiation beforehand. The great thing about hypnosis is that you can even hypnotize your hypnotee to not consciously remember the negotiation if you want to do con-non-con. Cool, right? So, do it.
For resources on how to do a hypnosis-specific negotiation, check out the Erotic Hypnosis Negotiation Checklist

Please let me know what else I should add to this!
Thanks for reading, and happy hypnotizing!

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