A Study in Kink

Glossary of Terms
A (questionably) alphabetical, culturally specific (and biased), ever-incomplete and ever-evolving list of terms and definitions to be updated regularly.

Abreaction: An unexpected (and possibly bad) response during a hypnosis scene.

Aftercare: The post-scene activities to return to the real world and typical state of mind. This is different for everyone but can include a discussion, cuddling, snacks and water, a blanket, or space and non-contact.

BDSM: Bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, and masochism.

Bondage: immobilizing a party or parties using physical or psychological means including but not limited to rope, leather, cages, or even hypnosis.

Bottom: The receiver of sensation or BDSM actions. This comes from the gay male culture of the person penetrating being the top and the receiver being the bottom.

Bunny: Someone who bottoms for rope, typically for demo or practice purposes.

Cultural Appropriation: The incorrect use of cultural traditions or items from a marginalized community which adds to stereotypes and/or disrespects the origins of the culture.

Dom: The dominant party in a scene. A Dom typically enjoys a more psychological or physical control over their partners as opposed to "top" which merely implies an administrative and active role.

Domme: An obnoxious word meant to draw a difference between male Doms and female Doms.

Dungeon: A place for people to do kinky things-- a dungeon typically houses kink furniture such as St. Andrew's Crosses, spanking benches, and cages.

FemDom: An obnoxious word meant to draw a difference between male Doms and female Doms. This might not be obnoxious if male Doms were called MenDoms instead of just Doms.

Fetish: A strong arousal or desire caused by a non-sexual object or situation in and of itself with no sexual context. Many fetishists recognize their fetishes as small children.

Figging: The practice of inserting ginger into the anus. Ow.

Fisting: The act of inserting a fist into a bodily orifice, typically the vagina or anus.

Hypnosis: The intentional art of inducing altered states of consciousness or use of the power of suggestion to create a desired (consensual) response.

Hypnotee: The person being hypnotized. Also known as a subject or bottom.

Impact: A general term for sadistic or sensation-inducing practice of hitting. This includes canes, crops, whips, floggers, spanking, punching, kicking, and car accidents.

Induction: The portion of an hypnosis session which brings a subject/bottom/hypnotee into a hypnotic trance.

Fetish: A particularly strong kink that may be experienced even in young childhood. The subject of a fetish is an object that is not traditionally sexual. Fetishists typically find that their fetish will increase the intensity, fun, or arousal in any activity in which it is involved, and may find it fun all by itself. For example, a rope kinkster may like to be tied up, while a rope fetishist may like everything about rope, down to the smell.

Flogger: A leather whip with a handle and many leather tales. This is a very common tool for impact and create sensations ranging from massage to stingy to thuddy.

Kink: Noun: a deep sexual, cathartic, or artistic enjoyment of practices that do not follow traditional sexual practices. Kinks can be enjoyed with or without sex involved. Kink is also used as a verb: "I kink on that," which means to enjoy something as a kink. Everyone has different kinks. Sexual arousal is not necessary for something to be a kink. For example, many people engage in rope for purely artistic reasons. Others find control cathartic, but not arousing. Some find the headspace or altered state of consciousness associated to be fun. Many do associate sexual arousal with their kinks, though.

Leather: Refers to cowhide clothing, accessories, and implements, and also to a community of people who value alternative sexuality with the added medium of leather appreciation and fetishism.

Leather family: A tight-nit group of people with deep friendships with familial feelings for one another in the leather community.

Modality: Modality refers to whether someone's more visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. There are a bunch of ways to figure out someone's primary modalities. Look forward to a post all about that! For the meantime, look for clues in someone's descriptions. If you ask someone about their bedroom or office and they talk most about the decorations or colors, probably visual. If they talk about layout, textures, or clutter, they're probably kinesthetic. If they talk about how it's in a quiet part of the building or within earshot of their boss, auditory. Another good test is "imagine you're on a beach." Ask what they notice. Once you have established their modality use that sense most in your suggestions and descriptions. "You'll be awake and alert as if you've just stepped out of a nice hot shower." "You'll be awake and alert as if you're half way through listening to your favorite peppy song." "You'll be awake and alert as if you've slept for hours and the sun is streaming through your window."

Negotiation: The discussion between two or more parties to establish consent and limits for a scene or scenes of kinky or sexual activities.

NLP: Neuro-linguistic programming, or neuro-linguistic psychology. This refers to a technique used for reading someone's primary methods of communication in order to communicate on their level. This is also a technique of communicating and sending suggestions subconsciously.

Old Guard: A culture of gay leather men originating in the early 20th century dedicated to ritual, protocol, and militant hierarchy.

OTK: Short for "One True Kink." This refers to someone's favorite kinks that really turn them on a lot, as opposed to kinks they may practice for cathartic, artistic, creative, or social reasons. This could be similar to "fetish."

Patter: Hypnosis monologue in a hypnotic tone made up of casual deepeners, validation, and whatever specific induction or suggestions the hypnotist is using. Patter tends to be continuous and fluid.

PGP: Short for "Preferred Gender Pronouns"

Play: engage in kinky or BDSM or fetish practices.

Playspace: A place to engage in kinky play, such as a dungeon.

Preferred Gender Pronouns: See "Pronouns"

Pronouns: Typically on this blog will refer to preferred gender pronouns. This is the little word someone uses for other people in the third person. For example, she/her, he/him, they/them, xi/xir, etc.

Protocol: Standing rules and traditions in a D/s relationship, such as who sits where, titles and formalities, and physical positions of greeting or offering.

Rigger: Someone who practices tying rope bondage.

Scene: A kinky encounter. A scene begins after negotiation, and ends with aftercare.

Service Top: A person who administrates sensation or other BDSM elements in order to satisfy the wants of the bottom.

Sleep Trance: A state where a hypnotee is in trance with their eyes closed in a dormant, listening position. This does not imply unconsciousness or actual sleep. It's mostly used as a convenient metaphor, and many hypnotists find it easier to concoct deepeners and suggestions when the hypnotee isn't staring at them.

Squick: A verb or noun referring to something that freaks you out, grosses you out, makes you uncomfortable. "That's a squick for me," or "that squicks me."

Stingy: Sharp, superficial pain. Stingy tools may cause redness of skin, welts, possible skin breaking, and superficial bruising.

Sub/ Submissive: The submissive party in the scene. Someone who wants to serve, submit, or be broken to their dominant. A submissive tends to have appetites to be controlled or subjugated or commanded.

Sub Drop: Negative or un-energetic emotions that can occur after submitting, bottoming, or entering sub-space. This can occur immediately after the scene or in days following. This can look like fatigue, depression, anxiety, sadness, or lack of satisfaction, among other things.

Sub Space: An altered state of consciousness brought on by the act of submission or bottoming. This can be an endorphin-fueled state that feels euphoric and can also come with side effects like heightened suggestibility and submission.

Thuddy: Deep muscle pain. Thuddy tools may cause redness of skin, superficial bruising, deep bruising, and, unfortunately, bone breakage, but try to avoid that.

Top: A person administrating sensation or other BDSM elements. This comes from the gay male culture of the person penetrating being the top and the receiver being the bottom.

Trance: An alerted state of consciousness notable for creativity, relaxation, and suggestibility. Most people experience trance while driving, reading, or staring at fire. This can be achieved through meditation, hypnosis, prayer, exercise, reading, etc.

24/7 Relationship: A relationship that incorporates heavy dominant and submissive themes and protocols into every day life every day.

A Study in Kink

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Glossary

Negotiation Guide